The Meaning of Marriage - Chapter 1 Notes

Nicole and I have started up a discipleship group for the late summer and early fall with our friends from Tech, Chris and Sam Cassidy.  (And my brother and his fiance will hopefully be joining us.)   We wanted to do something on marriage.  I have never done such a d-group.  Therefore, we talked over some prospective books, and we landed on "The Meaning of Marriage" by Tim Keller.  If you have followed my blog, you will know that Keller is one of the number that I trust because I believe he has a heart to be Gospel-centered, and he is quick to point people to Jesus in ways that help us fall more deeply in love with him on the spot.  He also, as a disciple of CS Lewis, is a keen observer of the human heart and situation.  I look forward to hearing his wisdom on marriage, and I pray we will be able to digest it well and apply it, and your prayers would be appreciated toward this end.  


I have used this blog for different purposes at different times.  I started out wanting to write down things that Nicole and close friends and family might read.  Then, I enjoyed writing, so I have used at as an outlet simply to glorify God through learning the craft of writing.   And having my readers in mind, I also have tried to point people to books and videos that I think are good.  My purpose over the coming months is to digest this book publicly and give a sort of Spark Notes of the chapters.  Specifically, I think this will be helpful to members of my d-group as a quick review of past material, but as always, I want to make it public to you in case God might be pleased to use it in your life, too.  So let us begin....


Chapter 1 - The Secret of Marriage

"Marriage is glorious but hard."  Talks on marriage tend to be sentimental, but the reality shows it to be at times very confusing and difficult.  No real marriage is simply a fairy tell come true.  But marriage is important to God, since he created it.  Knowing another in marriage is like knowing God - it is difficult but rewarding.  It is worth it.

Statistics show "an increasing wariness and pessimism about marriage in our culture", especially in young adults.  Chris Rock captures this generation's perceived predicament: "Do you want to be single and lonely or married and bored?"  This predicament lead many to the poor solution of cohabitation with a sexual partner.  Why?  Society assumes that 1) most marriages are unhappy, and 2) living together improves the chance of making a good marriage choice.  We must find someone we have chemistry with.  Keller wants to challenge these assumptions and point to a better and Biblical view of marriage.

Research runs counter to some commonly held assumptions.  Cohabitation prior to marriage actually increases the likelihood of divorce - it does not seem to be the solution.  Though the divorce rate is high for our society, it is quite low for well-educated, religious people coming from intact families who marry after 25 without first having a baby.  Marriage also helps people financially in the long run.  It provides stability through life's obstacles and accountability to be wiser and less selfish with money and other things.  Marriage matures character.  The research agrees with the Bible that marriage is good, even very good.

In spite of this evidence, young adults believe most married people are unhappy.  Filmmaker Dana Alan Shapiro created a film about couples who had broken up and understandably reached a grim view of relationships: "it is extraordinarily hard though not completely impossible for two modern persons to love each other without stifling one another's individuality and freedom." This pessimistic feeling is pervasive. 

Nevertheless "... surveys tell us that the number of married people who say they are 'very happy' in their marriages is high - about 61-62 percent - and there has been little decrease in this figure during the last decade... two thirds of those unhappy marriages out there will become happy within five years if people stay married and do not get divorced."  In our society the benefits of divorce have been oversold and the benefits of marriage undervalued.

To sum up everything so far: modern society has a low view of marriage and its ability to bring happiness, though evidence shows it to be good, even if it is hard. 
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Where does our pessimism about marriage, in spite of the evidence, come from?  Keller answers... "from a new kind of unrealistic idealism about marriage, born of significant shift in our culture's understanding of the purpose of marriage."  The first two views about marriage's purpose were the Catholic and Protestant views.  "Though different in many particulars, they both taught that the purpose of marriage was to create a framework for lifelong devotion and love between a husband and wife.  It was a solemn bond, designed to help each party subordinate individual impulses and interests in favor of the relationship, to be a sacrament of God's love (the Catholic emphasis) and serve the common good (the Protestant emphasis)."  Marriage creates character, creates social stability, and creates the best environment for raising children.  How, then, does modern society's view of marriage differ from these original emphases?

The Enlightenment brought a shift from finding meaning in duty to finding meaning in personal fulfillment through freedom.  It was a shift from self-denial for the sake of loving another to the maximization of emotional and sexual fulfillment.  "In this view, married persons married for themselves, not to fulfill responsibilities to God or society."  Again, "the Enlightenment privatized marriage, taking it out of the public sphere, and redefined its purpose as individual gratification, not any 'broader good' such as reflecting God's nature, producing character, or raising children."  What was a public institution for the common good became a private arrangement for individual satisfaction.  "Marriage used to be about us, but now it is about me."

With this more self-actualized view of marriage's purpose, the search for the perfect "soul-mate" has arisen.  Men have generally been seen as commitment-phobic, and a 2002 studied confirmed this and listed reasons for why men delay marriage.  The most important reason according to the study is that men are waiting to find the perfect soul mate, someone who is "compatible".  There are different definitions of compatible.  For instance, Keller would say that he and his wife share many common threads and passions and feel like "kindred spirits" - they are friends.  But this is not exactly all that compatible means today. 

Physical attractiveness and sexual chemistry are very important.  First, we want a spouse who is hot and will meet our sexual needs and wants.  But surprisingly, compatibility was even more important than this for guys, and it is basically defined as a "willingness to take them as they are and not change them."  Guys want someone who will easily fit into their life.  We do not want to be asked to change for someone.

In contrast to this definition of compatibility, traditionally marriage has helped to "civilize" men.  It is the place where boys become men.  This entails change.  (I can attest to this.)  Today, men would rather cohabit to have access to sex and retain the freedom to look for a better partner; there is generally less pressure to change.  While the idea is popular that the most "masculine" men do not do well when hemmed in by marriage, traditionally marriage has been the place where men become truly masculine, where it is defined more along the lines of self-mastery.  "Sexual restraint rather than sexual prowess was once the measure of a man." 

It is not only men who have moved from their traditional view of marriage.  Keller sums up the situation like so: "Both men and women today want a marriage in which they can recieve emotional and sexual satisfaction from someone who will simply let them 'be themselves'.  They want a spouse who is fun, intellectually stimulating, sexually attractive, with many common interests, and who, on top of it all, is supportive of their personal goals and of the way they are living now."  Yup. We want someone who is low maintenance, pulled together, and will supplement us quite nicely.  We are idealistic.

Let's sum up where we are:  Though marriage was traditionally about loving another, honoring God, and benefiting society, it has become an idealistic search for a basically perfect someone who will help us to find our own self-fulfillment with the least call to change.

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Keller points out the irony of how this idealism about finding our perfect soul mate has contributed significantly to the pervasive pessimism we see.  Unrealistic expectations frustrate the searchers and the searched for.  How can we hope to find such a person?  and, How can I ever become such a person?  Pornography and popular media contribute to the problem.  Many guys delay marriage because they are looking for the combination "soul mate/ babe".

"Older views of marriage are considered to be traditional and oppressive, while the newer view of the "Me-Marriage" seems so liberating.  And yet it is the newer view that has led to a steep decline in marriage and to an oppressive sense of hopelessness with regard to it."

Some people have become so adept at spotting flaws in their potential spouses that they continually delay marriage.  John Tierney concludes that these people may have turned up their "flaw-o-matic"s in order to stay alone and therefore safe.  We want too much out of a marriage partner, including someone who will demand basically nothing of us.  Many are afraid of love; it means the loss of individual freedom, autonomy, and fulfillment my own way.  But to love is better than to not love.  In the end we are pessimistic about love because we are too idealistic (because we are basically selfish).

....  Okay, so I have shared several thoughts now into what has become a long post.  I am skipping some stuff before the end of the chapter, but I wanted to end here.  Suffice it to say, Ephesians 5 and the creation accounts give a strong Biblical view of marriage in contrast to what it has been made into by our society, and the rest of the book will spend time drawing out the implications of the Gospel for marriage.  Marriage is an analogy of Christ and the Church, so the more we understand the Gospel we will understand marriage.  The better we understand marriage, the better we will understand the Gospel.

Soli Deo gloria!

Journey Through Proverbs - #1

The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel:

To know wisdom and instruction,
  to understand words of insight,
to receive instruction in wise dealing,
  in righteousness, justice, and equity;
to give prudence to the simple,
  knowledge and discretion to the youth -
Let the wise hear and increase in learning,
  and the one who understands obtain guidance,
to understand a proverb and a saying,
  the words of the wise and their riddles.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;
  fools despise wisdom and instruction.

I have chosen as one of my projects for the summer to sink myself deeply into the book of Proverbs.  I do not think I am wise, but I want to be.  My heart has a vision of a life steered rightly by God's insight into the way things really work.  The earlier I get a book like Proverbs into my bones, the better for the outcome of my life.  My life will be more eternally useful for having so invested it.

Additionally, I want to benefit readers of this blog.  I know that I am given to writing lengthy posts, so one of my goals is to cut down the length and increase the frequency.  I plan on taking chunks of 4-8 verses at a time and giving thoughts.  This should take me through the summer and maybe into the Fall.  Please join me in pursuing wisdom.

Above in bold I have written Proverbs 1:1-7.  These seven verses serve as an introduction to the book.  They give clues as to the genre and how the book should be read.  Solomon is the primary author; Solomon preferred wisdom to riches, and God abundantly rewarded him with both.  Therefore, in addition to the fact that this is the Word of God, we know we are listening to the voice of a man that God had made truly wise as well.

What are the purposes of this book?  What does it mean to accomplish?  The hearer is meant to grow in wisdom, which may be defined as skill in the art of godly living.  This wisdom goes hand-in-hand with and grows from increasing knowledge, which might be defined as seeing God's world increasingly from God's perspective.  This wisdom and knowledge is meant to be intensely practical (instruction in wise dealing), but also intellectual (increase in learning, understand proverbs, sayings, riddles).  The results in a person's life should be the formation of a lived-out character and virtue (righteousness, justice, equity, prudence); therefore, growth in these things will be good for the individual, but those around the individual will also be blessed through him as he grows in wisdom.

Who should hear and read these words of Solomon?  A variety of types of people are explicitly named here, but we might also reach beyond those explicitly named to conclude its universal usefulness for everyone if they come willing to really listen.  First, we have the simple; these are people who are not particularly wise or intelligent, but they are not yet identified with the wicked or foolish.  These are people who simply need guidance.  Second, we have the youth.  We may view the book of Proverbs as the sayings of an older man to a younger man.  I see myself here, still young, hoping to set my course along a sure path of God's wisdom.  Third, we see the wise and understanding.  Those who have wisdom are in the good position of realizing there is still more to learn.  Indeed, as we will see over and over again, teachability is one of the primary virtues given by this book, even for those who already have some measure of wisdom.

The first verse having given the author and title, the next five verses giving the purpose and audience, we turn now to verse 7, which may be taken as the theme and overriding principle of the entire book. 
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Knowledge apart from fear of the LORD is but a shell and a shadow of the real thing.  This sets the tone and the attitude for reading Scripture and seeking wisdom in the book of Proverbs.  We do not seek a knowledge of good and evil and wisdom apart from God, but we see everything in light of the God who is big enough and holy enough to warrant our fear.  Knowledge does not rest independently in us.  We are not our final authority.  Fear of the LORD frees us to seek truth in humility, and it is fear of the LORD that guarantees the application and not mere assimilation of knowledge; for the proper end of wisdom and knowledge is godly application, or else it is useless and a means of pride and intellectual self-justification.  There is no such thing as neutral knowledge.

We also see the fool introduced here as the one who despises wisdom, and he is set up against the one who fears the LORD.  It is the fool who has no fear before God.  My prayer for myself and for you is that we would be brought back by God's Spirit to a holy and proper fear of him for the sake of his glory and for our good in the seeking and application of wisdom.

Piper on Bible Memorization

Luke 24:44-53

 Then he said to them, “These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you, that everything written about me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled.” Then he opened their minds to understand the Scriptures, and said to them, “Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. And behold, I am sending the promise of my Father upon you. But stay in the city until you are clothed with power from on high.”

 Then he led them out as far as Bethany, and lifting up his hands he blessed them. While he blessed them, he parted from them and was carried up into heaven. And they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy, and were continually in the temple blessing God.
(Luke 24:44-53 ESV)

Let me run through this with some of my thoughts.  Pardon my rambling; I pray you are blessed.

“Every word of God proves true” (Proverbs 30:4).  Everything promised either has been fulfilled, or God is bringing it to fulfillment according to his wise and sovereign plan.  God is trustworthy in what he speaks, and he is powerful enough to accomplish his promises.  The word “must” in verse 44 carries weight and speaks of God’s covenant-keeping character.

The Old Testament scriptures – like the New - are ultimately about Jesus.  He is the interpretive key.  These scriptures were written hundreds of years earlier, but Jesus is bold enough to claim that the Law, the Prophets, and the Psalms speak primarily of him.  Look back to the previous parts of this chapter or back the Sermon on the Mount.  “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.  For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished.” (Matthew 5:17-18)  It is also instructive that in John’s Gospel our Lord is referred to as the incarnate Word – not that he is the Bible, but that his very presence is the ultimate revelation of God to man, and in him all truth and all reality and all that has been previously promised is summed up.  “And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” (Colossians 1:17) 

This truth helps to ground me by helping me to realize that ultimately the Bible is not about me, but about Jesus with me as a background player in his bigger Drama.  Knowing that the Bible does not revolve around me gives me a breath of fresh air in my interpretive method; I do not read the Bible as a glorified self-help book.  No!  The meaning of the text is determined by the Author, not by me.  I agree with postmodernists that all truth is interpreted, and we must account for the influence of the reader in that interpretation.  Nevertheless, we affirm that if God is real, his interpretation is the correct one and is the one we are really after if possible.  We trust that if God did not even spare his own Son, he will not leave us in the dark as to the truth if we seek it with humility.  God does not mean to be misunderstood by those who would seek him in true faith.

The disciples’ minds were opened by Jesus to understand the Scriptures.  Therefore, previously they did not understand the Scriptures.  Certainly this does not mean that they had no knowledge or familiarity with them, but they lacked understanding.  The conclusion here is that there are wrong interpretations of Scripture.  In the case of the Pharisees, there can be careful and detailed interpretations of Scripture, which include a strict obedience, that are still damning in the end; their adherence to the Scriptures did not open their eyes to the One the Scriptures pointed to, and indeed, they ended up conspiring to kill him!

 Today, we do not need to content ourselves with mere familiarity with the Scriptures or with vacuous talk of them, but we desire the sort of understanding that the disciples were given.  We want truth and meaning, not merely misinterpreted fact.  We must interpret the whole Bible, not merely the New Testament, in terms of Jesus.  And we must interpret our whole lives, not merely the Bible, in terms of Jesus as well.  There is not a square inch of existence that does not ultimately belong to him.

“…he opened their minds to understand the Scriptures.”  They did not open their own minds.  They needed the help of another.  Jesus was pleased to perform this opening of their minds.  Humility requires that we see ourselves in a similar position of inability apart from Christ.  If we are to see anything aright, we need to see it through eyes opened by him and for him.    

 Jesus summarized the Gospel concerning himself to his disciples in verses 46 through 49.  What is this Gospel?  Christ, the Messiah, suffered and died.  He rose from the dead.  Again, this is not a program for self-improvement or enlightenment; it is a declaration of news, very good news!  It is a declaration of something that has been done for us that we could not do, but that we desperately needed done.  If this dying and rising is relegated to a corner, or if it is taken as a mere symbol and not an objective historical reality, it is no longer news.  It becomes a sort of symbolic juice to rev up our emotions to improve ourselves or the world or something else.  This, I believe, is one of the distinguishing factors of Christianity - that it is rooted in a history of God’s acts consistent with his character, and it is not first a sort of philosophy of life, though it has much to say about how we should live. 

Jesus gives his Gospel a missionary emphasis.  Repentance and forgiveness of sins are to be proclaimed everywhere.  That means that everyone needs this message.  Salvation is found in the name of Christ alone.  As Christians, we are God’s primary means of that vital proclamation, and we should take that responsibility as seriously as Christ did, which involved his own dying.  Indeed, verse 48 says that the disciples are witnesses of these things.  This is a new and fundamental part of their identity.  And it is a fundamental part of ours, too.  If what we carry to the world is news, rooted in historical events that have radical implications for our present and future condition, our posture must be that of joyful herald.  News is meant to be heralded!  That is what preaching is.  That is what evangelism is.  Repentance is not a popular message, but it is the one we must carry.  While salvation in Christ’s name is counter to the pluralistic spirit of our age, let us yet declare with Paul that we are unashamed of the Gospel which is the power to save. (Romans 1:16)

Jesus sends the promise of the Father and power from on high, which we realize is the Holy Spirit.  Christ goes away so that another may come.  “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” (Acts 1:8)  The disciples are instructed to stay in the city to wait.  It is our inclination to plan and act in our own power and self-sufficiency.  But the glory belongs to God, and the work belongs to his Spirit working in us and through us.  We are in a hurry, but God in his sovereignty is not.  Sometimes God places his people in the desert for forty years.  It is clear that God’s mission is dependent on his Spirit’s power to accomplish it and not our ingenuity or urgency.

Just as Jesus died and rose, he also ascended after blessing his disciples.  What should our response to these things be?  I think we should join with the disciples in worship.  The crucifixion, resurrection, and ascension are not mainly doctrines to be picked apart and analyzed.  First, they are bare historical facts about the actions of a God who loves us and acts on our behalf, and the upshot of all of this is worship.  We should be inspired to worship our glorious God.  And the aroma of that worship should be infused with great joy (verse 52).  We should be the most serious and most joyful people in the world.  Others may see that as an oxymoron, but we know that it is not!  It is one of the most beautiful truths in the world.  Jesus walked the path to the cross for the joy that was set before him, and we walk this life with all its difficulties for the joy set before us.  Our joy is God himself, and he is greater than any sorrow.  With the ascension, we know that he is alive and waiting for us, and more than any other thing that we wait for, we await his presence as our true reward.

To God alone be all the glory!

Bible Memorization

What are the things that we will not regret when we come to the end of our lives?  I don't think I will regret...

... quality time spent with friends,
time spent with family,
service to the poor and hurting,
sharing the Gospel,
praying,
laughing a lot,
dying to sin,
taking time to watch the sunset,
writing poetry for my wife,
standing up for the underdog,
holding my tongue in the midst of controversy,
giving compliments,
giving love,
receiving love with grace and thanks,
thinking before acting,
visiting my grandparents,
pursuing excellence in my work,
submitting to godly authority,
serving in a local church...

I want my life to be full of these things.  A life well lived will include them.  But we only have so much time in the day.  Therefore, I want to get rid of the things that I will regret to make room for the things I won't.  What are some of the things I will regret?

... spending too much money on myself,
spending too little money in service to the poor,
orienting my life around entertainment,
watching too much meaningless television,
reading books more often than I make friends,
getting angry over not getting my way,
sulking over perceived slights,
gossiping,
lusting,
speaking out of bitterness,
ignoring God,
living on facebook,
giving up on all my dreams,
arguing for the sake of being right,
reading merely for the sake of knowing more,
not really being present for people and just acting like I'm listening,
working all the time,
being lazy...

These lists could go on.  I write them to challenge you to live intentionally.  What would be on your lists?  I think there are some things that should universally be on these lists no matter who you are, and I also believe that God grants some freedom here because we are all unique.  But no matter what, it is better to live intentionally than to let life pass you by.  Don't waste your life.  Patiently, persistently, passionately give your life to the things that matter most. 

I write this as a preface to a challenge.  Memorize scripture!!!  I commend this to you as a simple but powerful spiritual discipline that will most certainly yield fruit in your life down the road.  I have never once regretted having memorized a verse that I have memorized.  If we take God seriously, we will take his Word seriously.  If we take God seriously, we will take our sin seriously, and Scripture used by the Spirit in our lives is the primary means by which we put to death our sin.  We don't want or need a surfacy-shallow knowledge of Scripture.  We want a weighty, true, helpful, deep knowledge of Scripture to build on for when the storms inevitably come.  This deep knowledge comes over time as we intake it in different ways - reading each day, reading with others, hearing the Word preached, singing the Word through hymns, praying the Word, reading books by wise people on the Word.  Memorization, too, is one of the best ways to work it into your heart, and I commend it to you.  Figure out what works for you, and get someone to help you.  But, for the sake of God's glory through your life, do not settle for a shallow knowledge of Scripture.  Hide the whole counsel in your heart. 

... call insight your intimate friend... (Proverbs 7:4)

Is the Bible Reliable?

I recently found a link to this website and have been perusing the material.  I definitely recommend it.  Many of today's skeptics about the reliability of the Bible will rest on the authority of skeptics with degrees like Bart Ehrman.  He casts doubts on whether we can get back to what the original writers of the Bible actually said since we do not have the original manuscripts.  Are we able to reliably reconstruct what they said?  Before you can really get into the website, there is a lengthy two hour debate between Ehrman and Dan Wallace, a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary.  It is interesting, but I actually really like the website once you get into it. 

Spanning the course of Dr. Ehrman's more popular written works, the website asks pertinent questions and then gives short 3-7 minute videos of other more conservative Biblical scholars and theologians to give answers to Ehrman's doubts.  I find this to be just highly interesting first of all, but it is also strengthening to my faith.  I think I sometimes feel doubts just because of how far removed we are from the first century, and they are doubts that I don't always take the time to address head-on.  And I think that this is good seed for future conversations that you may get into with people who doubt the Bible.  We should be able to give a reason for the hope that is within us, and insofar as that hope rests on the Bible, we should be able to give good reasons for why we trust the Bible. 

I hope that this resource may be used profitably by you.  Let us thank God for speaking to us through his Word; we can trust his Word because He is trustworthy.  Soli Deo gloria!

http://ehrmanproject.com/

Carson/Zaspel on Sanctification

This is a video of a discussion on sanctification by Carson and Zaspel.  Hopefully you enjoy and are edified in this break from my multi-part blog on humility.

An Inquiry into the Nature of Humility - Part III

Having given a thorough and Biblical apologetic for the goodness and necessity of humility in the previous two posts about the nature of humility, I return to the original question of whether humility means thinking less of myself or of myself less.


For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. (Romans 12:3)



I think the original question can be separated into two different ideas, both of which can be examined. The first is this: How should I think about myself? The second is this: How often should I think about myself?

Concerning the first question, Romans 12:3 makes it clear that we should not think of ourselves too highly. It is best to err on the side of caution. I ought never to brag to others, but I also ought not to brag on myself to myself. We should examine ourselves with sober judgment. I think this means taking a clear look at ourselves in light of Scripture, asking the Holy Spirit to search us, and opening ourselves up to the input of other believers. Sober judgment probably grows with maturity. Only faith can really take an honest look inside because only faith is willing to see indwelling sin in light of God's reality. All other inward looks are inevitably deluded or misguided.



What are some errors that we might fall into as we think with sober judgment about ourselves? The first error would be to underestimate our sin, its power, its pervasiveness, its deadliness. We might underestimate our condition apart from God. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. (1 John 1:8) We must admit that we are sinners. What does that mean? How deep is the problem? Let us look at what Scripture says with sober judgment and be willing to turn the Sword of Scripture on ourselves:



None is righteous, no, not one; no one understand; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one. Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive. The venom of asps is under their lips. Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; in their paths are ruin and misery, and the way of peace they have not known. There is no fear of God before their eyes. (Romans 3:11-18) That is a bleak picture, and it is clear that no one is righteous. We are depraved, and we need a Savior.



For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. (Romans 1:18) Our hearts have evil desires, and our minds are happy to accomodate. Our minds become twisted as we systematically suppress truths that would call us to repent. One of the primary ways that we will suppress the truth is in our assessment of ourselves as we will think of ourselves more highly than we ought to think. Untangling this mess we only be done with the help of the Holy Spirit through the Word dealing with both mind and heart as we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. The Holy Spirit uses the Word to help us begin to think with sober judgment.



Scripture obviously provides correctives when we think of ourselves more highly than we ought to, especially in regards to our moral standing before God, or if we think we are especially good. No one is good but God.



But I think there is also a way to think of ourselves more lowly than we ought to think. This is a subtle temptation, but I think it is also pretty pervasive. This is also what I would take to be one of the more controversial points in this blog entry. What do I mean?



I really believe the Gospel takes us radically further in two seemingly different directions than we ever would have gone without it. It definitely brings us low. It tears us down before delivering any good news, and Romans 3 above is a good example of its gritty forthrightness about how hopeless and depraved man is in his natural state after the Fall. Paul pummels out of us the idea that we are good. Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes decimates the idea that we can achieve any sort of meaning on our own. Moses gives us the creation account and heads off the idea that we came from nothing and are therefore unnacountable. John in the book of Revelation thrusts before us the coming judgment of God, and we know that we will not pass the test on our own record. Jesus, like no other, penetrates our outer facade of righteousness and exposes the deepest motives of our hearts as only our Creator and Savior can. We ought to have no illusions about these things. The Gospel and the Word bring us low.



But the Gospel also radically builds us up. We have so much in Christ. We are so much in Christ. This is a message we are slow to hear, often because it does not yet resonate as well as the first, and we are justifiably wary of veering off into prosperity theology, and we really do not want to commit the sin of pride. But where Scripture speaks to us here, we ought not listen to it any less than we do about the lowering part. So what does Scripture say to build us up?



So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27) Though the Fall has twisted the image, it is still there. Because every human is created in the image of God, we believe that they all have dignity and worth before God and should be treated impartially. God's put his stamp on us.



For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:21) Sinless Jesus became sin for us to be the righteousness of God. What does that even mean?!



The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs - heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. (Romans 8:16-17) We are childen of God. He is our Father now that we are in his family. Adoption! And we are heirs of the Kingdom. Again, what does that even mean?!



Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. (Romans 5:1) There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1) I now have peace with God, and there is no condemnation. Because I am in the family (see above), God disciplines me as he disciplines a son, but his wrath is removed. I am freed. There is radical freedom from condemnation in the Gospel. I can take Romans 8:1 and shove it in Satan's face when he tries to attack me and tell me I am not good enough. I am not good enough is only half the Gospel.



For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. (Romans 6:5-7) We are set free from sin! And we are united with Christ. If we are in Christ, we have freedom from sin, whether or not it feels like it.



Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world... In love he predestined us for adoption. (Ephesians 1:3-5) I am loved from before the world began, chosen in Christ. Before the stars were there, and before I existed, I was loved. What can shake that kind of love? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, 'For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.' No in all these things we are more than conquerers through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35-39)



... and those whom he justified he also glorified. (Romans 8:30) I know with certainty there is a day coming when I will be glorified. I believe God will be glorified in my glorification, or else it wouldn't happen; perhaps my glorification means receiving greater capacities to enjoy God. Who knows exactly, but I am on my way.



Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own... (1 Corinthians 6:19) We are God's dwelling place. He lives in me.



Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:25,33) God's love for me, for us is a covenant love. God has set his heart and affection on his bride so greatly that a comparison to any human marriage is poor and paltry.



A good ending of this survey of the ways God lifts us up is found in Psalm 8 in which we see the juxtaposition of humility and subsequent exaltation: When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You have given him dominion over the works of your hands.



The practical effect on our lives as we trust God is that we are humbled, yet we walk in a new freedom and boldness. The Gospel makes us humbly bold and takes away our fear. We care less and less about how great we look and more about pleasing God. When I am prideful and walking with a swagger, I desperately need the gut-punch Romans 3. When I am broken and contrite over my sin, I desperately need the glorious reassurance of Romans 8. I probably should spend my life walking in that tension, living in Psalm 8. There needs to be a balance, but I think that only comes through really hearing both sides, both tendencies, both truths... not through a premature averaging of the two so that I am never really brought low or high.



Back to the question at hand. How should I think about myself? My answer is that we should think about ourselves accurately. According to John 8:32, the truth will set us free. Therefore, when we aim to think about ourselves, we should not think about ourselves lowly just for the sake of the thing, but rather, we should think about ourselves soberly in light of the truths that Scripture tell us. Most certainly our tendency will be to overestimate how good we are, but God is not glorified by error in either direction.



Am I allowed ever to think highly of myself, and in what way? The answer to that should be a qualified "yes". I think in some ways we ought to think highly of ourselves - not more highly than we ought - but in such a way that the thinking highly of ourselves is really a thinking highly of God. For instance, God gives different gifts and abilities. In fact the section after Romans 12:3 talks about different gifts given to people in the Body. Would God be particularly glorified if I said I was bad at math? I don't think so. It simply isn't true, and God would not be made to look any better with me trying to think that I am bad at math. But how do I affirm that I am good at math in a way that actually does glorify God?



For me, math ability becomes a source of pride when I let it move me toward a point of self-sufficiency from God. I ought to attribute my math ability to God's sovereign grace and give deep thanks to him for it. A lot of my ability to do math was due the circumstances of my birth and environment, things outside of my control, and even for the part that isin my control, it is only in my control as a stewardship. My time is not my own, my body is not my own, my abilities are not my own. The part that seems to be under my own control, I also must attribute to God at work in me. Everything I do, I ought to do with the continual acknowledgement of thanks to God. I must never put down or attribute the good things about me as I something that I just accomplished on my own. God has blessed me with gifts, and this is balanced by an acknowledgement that I am not good at other things, like arts and crafts.



Jesus is our definition of humility. I do not think his humility was at all thinking of himself as less. I think he thought of himself with sober judgment in accordance with the truth about himself. His humility consisted mainly in action, taking the lower seat, stooping down, refusing to avail himself of all his attributes in order to save sinners. Jesus' humility is about loving action, not putting himself down. Practically, it is impossible to operate if we refuse to acknowledge what we're good at. God gives us gifts to use, but we should give him all the glory with them.



We should say something like... God, I believe that you have given me the ability to do math, you have blessed me with a supportive family, and by your sustaining power you have given me life and even the will to pursue math. Lord, I thank you. Help me not to count myself higher than those who are not as good at math. Give me the eyes to see others' gifts and to encourage them in sincerity. Keep me from judgment and from sinful comparisons with others. God, you know so much more math than I do - what I know is like a tiny drop in an infinite ocean compared to your knowledge. Above all, God, I pray that you would help me to glorify you in my gifting, that you would help me to find ways to serve you and help others, and that I would give you all credit, all glory, and all thanks.