I was reading Acts 14 earlier. Paul and Barnabas go to Lystra. They looked a crippled man in the face and told him to stand upright on his feet because he had the faith to be made well. And so he was! Apparently a crowd saw it and started saying in their own language that "the gods have come down to us in the likeness of men!" They thought that Paul was Hermes and Barnabas was Zeus, both gods from Greek mythology. The people wanted to sacrifice to these "gods". Obviously when Paul and Barnabas heard of this they were distraught. They tore their garments and pleaded with the people, explaining the Gospel and that they were by no means gods. And even so, it was difficult to convince the people not to sacrifice to them.
Observation 1 - If we are walking in the power of the Spirit, what kind of effect are we having on people? Is there a power in us that begs explanation? I don't want to chase that line of reasoning too far, but I mention it merely to cause you to think and examine...
Observation 2 - Right after verse 18 in which Luke tells us that Paul's words barely kept the people from making sacrifices, we find verse 19. Immediately - and without much explanation - we see Jews come from Antioch and Iconium who persuade the crowds to stone Paul and drag him out of the city. What?!!! That was fast! In verse 18 we find worship; in verse 19 we find stoning. What does this say about people, and what might this say about me?
This very much reminds me of Jesus with the crowds. They offer him palm branches, crying out "Hosanna!" A week later they are crying out "Crucify!" It reminds me of Judas who followed Christ's call - at least physically - to follow him for three years. At the end of it he betrays Jesus with a kiss for 30 pieces of silver. It reminds me of Moses and the people of Israel. God provides. Israel rejoices. Almost immediately they complain. Why did Moses drag us out here to starve? It reminds me of Peter who bragged he would follow Jesus anywhere, and he proceeds quickly to deny him three times.
I find in myself a similar principle. In one of CS Lewis's addresses from his compilation of talks and sermons entitled The Weight of Glory, he begins by saying that the preacher may be best when he thinks of himself as comparing notes. He is a Christian just the same as those sitting in his pews, and it is best for him not to try to put on airs and act better or more spiritual. He should observe Scripture and observe his own life and "compare notes" with his flock. In that vein I want to note that I see this principle in my own life.
I still sin. I feel the weight of it. The longer I am a Christian, the more I feel and know my own depravity, and I groan to be free of it. I long for and groan for my resurrection body that will be free from sin and decay. Well, many times now, when I know it is time to repent, and even sometimes as I sin, I am conscious of my proximity to reminders of God. My room is basically stacked to the cieling with Bibles and books on theology. My ipod is filled with podcasts of preachers and Christian music. My day is filled with opportunities to talk with family and friends about God. My day ends as I pray with Nicole. There is very literally no way that I can ignore Jesus...
But I do! Oh, God have mercy on my soul! I do. I feel like Peter, like the fickle crowds, like the hard-headed Israelites. I think we can be near to God and faking it, like maybe Judas was, and our disobedience can prove our rebellion. We can be like the crowds in front of Pilate or at Lystra who have a zeal but not according to knowledge, and our all-too-quick double-minded wavering can reveal that our hearts have not really known God. Or we can be like the Israelites in the desert or like Peter, true believers (at least some of them anyways) who are deeply in need of restoration.
What these stories teach me is that I am never beyond falling, and like manna from heaven, I desperately need God's grace for each day, for each hour, for each moment. I need it more than I realize. John Piper argues in his book Future Grace that faith is meant to be the fuel for our obedience, and faith always has a forward sort of look. Gratitude looks back on God's graces given in the past. Faith looks forward and believes that God will continue to give grace. Faith is what empowers my stepping out and taking risks and fighting the sin within. I know that my God has made promises and secured them by the blood of Jesus; I can step out confidently on those promises knowing that God does not lie and that he is going to be present for every single moment of eternity future, and he delights in glorifying himself by coming through on those promises he has given and gracing me in every future moment. My experience confirms this principle - that my gratitude is real but is like a leaky bucket. I constantly need to be refilling my cup with God and his promises.
My prayer out of all this is something like this: Father, I waver too quickly. Forbid that I should be in your presence one moment, then ignore you and plunge into iniquity the next. Clean me. Forgive me. Give me a steadfast spirit. Not wavering, but steadfast. Be pleased to strengthen my weak faith, and help me to trust in your mighty promises. I believe and you have said that you will supply all of my needs according to your riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To you be all glory! In Jesus name, Amen.
