Recently I had to post an online reflection reacting to an article by Thornton on different sexualities. The thrust of the article is that, while we have gotten better about including history of women's rights and racial problems, we have still left homosexuality and other sexualities on the periphery. We have been silent, and our silence is condemning. The proposed solution is to break silence and affirm everyone. The following is my online post, minus some introductory remarks that were too situation specific to make sense.
I have tried to be very conscious of my body of communication with my class this semester, specifically because I believe the idea of truth is consistently attacked. I hope some of the reasoning here might be helpful for you, and please continue to pray for me, that I would speak with both grace and truth.
Within the context of my Christian faith, I found specifically Marlene, Pauline, and Lori's posts to say substantially what I would want to say. I value people because they are created in God's image and because he loves them. I want to fight for their justice, and for my part, I want to create a safe and equitable classroom for everyone. My primary job will be as my students' teacher, not as their moral judge.
Here is where I feel the most tension. What is tolerance? If I disagree with someone of a different sexuality than mine, should I then affirm them in that? Can I behave in love toward someone and still stay true to my Christian conviction in my actions without changing my mind? I would argue yes to that last question, but I believe Thornton would say that my silence, rooted in my disagreement implicates me in a system of oppression.
Here is where the tension comes. I have become convinced through reasoning, authority, and experience that the Bible is not simply existentially useful, but is actually true. Christianity - and other belief systems - are more offensive when they claim to be true and not just useful. My reasons for believing and the implications of what that means for my living and my teaching are subjects that could take up a lot of writing space and a lot of conversation. I won't get into the whole thing here, but I will say that my main problem is an epistemological one.
What can we know? How do we know what we know? My view of tolerance is one that is not divorced from truth but includes a high valuing of every human being because they are created in God's image. I believe that their value in God's eyes is an objective truth, and that is the grounds of my tolerance and love. The view of tolerance I feel pressed on me by Thornton is one that is implicitly grounded in a sort of deep agnosticism toward knowing - that either there is not such a thing as truth, or we can't really know it, so we shouldn't act like we do. To say, as I do, that Christianity is true will get me labeled as someone who is making a power play; truth claims are power plays to many who deny the concept of truth. But my accuser would be inconsistent on two accounts: 1) by telling me I am wrong, they are presupposing some standard - the very thing I am accused of, and 2) their claim that my assertion of truth is a power play is not exempt itself from being called a power play. And I really do want to know the truth, and my beliefs lead me to resist tendencies within myself to set myself over others. Pride, it has been supposed, is the root of nearly every sin.
Basically, because silence is part of the problem as argued by Thornton, I feel like I am being asked to 1) change my mind, 2) remain convinced but adopt an extreme skepticism toward knowing that will presumably lead me to an appropriate humility, or 3) operate at odds with my convictions. It is quite a conundrum. I would be glad to be helped to see other options, but #2 looks nearest to the best right now. I want to operate in humility toward others. However, as before, the grounds for my humility will not be a blanket tolerance divorced from the concept of truth. Rather, it must be myself contrasted with the greatness and holiness of my God. Next to him, I feel simultaneously small, morally guilty, yet forgiven. And the forgiveness and grace shown me are the grounds of my humility toward others.
Finally, I feel compelled to say that, while I feel strongly about these things, they are also very peripheral - even if Thornton might disagree - to my interactions with others. If I am commending my faith to others, I want to help them to see clearly the God who I have seen, and so I feel it is intensely inappropriate for me to call attention to anything but my own wrongdoings. I am no one's judge; no one, especially in regards to sexuality, is accountable to me for their choices.
I have enjoyed this class so much so far, and in all sincerity, I love you all. Thank you to anyone patient enough to slog through this mess of writing.
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