I want my life to be marked out by love. It is far too easy to slip into wanting to have it marked out by accomplishment. It is far too easy for me to try to build the perfect life, the perfect mind, the perfect ministry, as far as those things are possible. Too often, I try to craft my own reality to perfection.
But what really matters?
Love really matters, according to Jesus. It is both first and second on the list of most important things to do.
What is love basically like?
It is a binding commitment of the heart and will for the good of another, even at great personal cost. You cannot separate it from action because an emotion that does nothing is quite stagnant. And it seems wrong to call it merely an action because a pharisee or a robot can go through the right motions for the wrong reasons or with no heart at all. It is both! Sometimes love is tested when the emotions run dry, but you still hope that the emotion may return in some way.
I am going to die. You are, too. We only have so much time to love. We shouldn't waste the time we have. We shouldn't wait until we are on the other side of some imaginary hill, finally a better person and better equipped, before we start loving. We should start where we are at with the people we are around. We should seek to meet new people, but not in a frantic sort of way. Better to love fifty people really well than three hundred people really poorly.
Love does not seek to control and manipulate. If I am living for my own perfect life, everybody and everything is a pawn or player in my own game. In that game, I want them to do what I want them to do. I try to change people, so that I will be happier. When it doesn't work, I am unhappy. This is not love.
Don't twist my words there. It is not wrong to desire change for people. Especially if they are destroying themselves, quickly or slowly. But it is wrong for me to try to make it happen against their will. Coercion is not love. But neither is apathetic friendship.
Love is the key. Patience. Kindness. Complete lack of arrogance or boastfulness. Sharing in your joy. Sharing in your sorrow. Not manipulative. Other-focused. Humble.
When people are no longer objects in our own game, we are free to love them and enjoy them. I think love involves a desire to enjoy the other's presence. You simply desire to be with the other person. There is no agenda. There is no secret game afoot. You are not trying to manipulate them into doing something or thinking something.
There is a beauty to being. There is a beauty to celebrating birthdays, celebrating the fact that someone exists. We are made to do stuff. But we are also made to just be. God wanted us here. He wanted us here to see and enjoy. How great to do this with others!
My goal in life is to serve and enjoy the people that God brings into my life. I want to be a blessing to them, and I want to seek joy in the presence of my friends and enemies. Enemy-love, of course, means that I hope they will not remain enemies. The cross of Christ - if you think about what it is - has the power to turn enemies into friends.
I know this life goal is vague, but it is good to get that straight, at least, before I start working out the details. Let us love.
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